Match Report v MACE

Match Report 18/11/15
MACE FC 0-3 History FC
History FC win again, its nine games on the bounce now for our title chasing heroes in light blue. On a typically wet Mancunian afternoon the History boys proved that they most definitely could do it on cold, Wednesday afternoon in Wythenshawe. There were some pre-match doubts as to whether the game would go ahead as planned or be postponed following the arrival of Storm Barney on our shores. However, we live in the rainy paradise that is Manchester a place where a torrential downpour and a boggy pitch are ideal conditions for a proper game of football. Game on.
There was early drama in the pre-match warmup as news filtered through to Sky sources that lusciously locked duo Henry Scanlan and Tom Russell would miss kick-off and History would have to start the game with only 10 men. Disaster then truly struck when centre back Patrick Harvey mysteriously found canine faeces all over his lovely white coat. Why he put it there we do not know, each to their own I suppose and this reporter is certainly not a man to judge what another man chooses to do with dog poo. Once the initial shock of this incident had blown over the game could finally begin.
Early on History FC asserted their usual dominance over proceedings and looked the more superior team throughout the opening exchanges. However, this dominance was not matched by chances and goals as the poor weather conditions halted the men in blue playing the ‘History Way™’. MACE also looked short of ideas and quality early on despite being captained by former Brazil international Dante, the Brazilian has fallen on hard times since his best days at Bayern Munich but I suppose losing 7-1 to Germany in a home world cup will do that to a man. Although it is nice to see he is still playing and apparently getting a degree in Aerospace Engineering as well, good for him.
A sloppy first half was eventually brought to life with some quick thinking from the late arrival Henry Scanlan who took advantage with a quick free-kick and slotted the ball through to midfielder Nathan Bennett. Bennett galloped along the soft to very soft in places turf and produced an extremely cool finish to beat the MACE goalkeeper. The crowd erupted and the famous chant of ‘One nil to the History!’ echoed around the Stadio d’ Wythenshawe. The opener was soon followed by a second, this time from Scanlan. A true thunderbastard of a goal hit on the run into the opposite top corner. A goal of such pure quality and genius that most people who witnessed it did not truly understand what had just happened. Most of the fans and players present thought it had been a double ricochet off the sliding Dante onto Scanlan’s shin that had looped over the keeper with a helping hand from the wind. However, this reporter will take Henry’s word on what happened as he seems like an honest enough chap to me and who am I to doubt him. So it was a thunderbastard of a goal. End of.
Onto the second half and it was more of the same for History as confidence grew and the football improved with the wind behind them. Lots of chances were being created by the free flowing football History, somehow the ‘History Way™’ was prevailing on the swamp formerly known as a football pitch and to great effect. However, someone had left all the shooting boots at home and chance after chance was wasted by the men in blue. That was until a lung-bursting run from midfielder Tom Glover left him clean through on goal and the rumoured lovechild of Justin Rose and Andre Schurrle finished crisply into the bottom corner. Game over. With the cherry on the History FC cake of a first league clean sheet for reserve ‘keeper Josh Scott, a satisfying afternoon’s work for all in light blue.
Another Wednesday, another win and as the History Boys stared up into the rainbow above them they began to wonder if maybe just maybe they would reach the Pot of Gold at the end of the campus league rainbow ahead of them that is promotion to the promised land of Division 1.
Your Faithful Reporter,
Neil Davies.