The 2015-16 ISSL Campus League season is over, and what a season it turned out to be for the men in blue. From the moment the season kicked off there were hopes and dreams of glory throughout the Samuel Alexander Building. The fans of History F.C. would not be disappointed as their team attained promotion to the Promised Land of Division One and won the prestigious Alan Mainwaring Shield. A truly astonishing accomplishment by the players, the staff and the fans of this distinguished football club.
The season unfolded with all the excitement of the finest of Hollywood scripts. A story of passion, revenge, unrequited love and goals. Lots and lots of goals. Although they did not finish as champions the men of history will be considered by many as the people’s champion. As the late, great Johan Cruyff said about Holland’s failure to win the 1974 World Cup, ‘“Yeah, but maybe we were the real winners in the end, I think the world remembers our team more.”, in thirty years’ time the same thing will surely be uttered by those who witnessed History F.C’s swashbuckling run to promotion and the Shield. Dan Bunter, player-manager-captain, of History is clearly a disciple of Cruyff’s as he moulded a magical style of football that became simply known as ‘The History Way’. Built upon a revolutionary 3-5-2 formation, the fluid style of possession football combined with gegenpressing recalled memories of the finest sides to ever grace the football field. And produced some of the finest football that the Stadio D’elle Wythenshawe has ever seen, in what was a glorious season for all those who follow the History boys. History won more than the Shield and promotion this season; they won the hearts and minds of all of football.
The Games
Although there were a great number of wonderful performances and magical moments throughout the season two games encapsulate ‘The History Way’ greater than any other for this reporter. They are the 3-1 win over bitter rivals and eventual champions B.A. Econ, and the 3-0 victory in the Shield final over Medics Wednesday. The crowning moment of this miraculous season.
B.A. Econ 1 – 3 History F.C.
In the first game of the season History lost 0-1 to Econ in a game that was marred by the intervention of the Conservative Government. David Cameron helped out his Pedigree chum, George Osborne and his team by delaying the buses to Wythenshawe. Leaving three key History players stranded and missing throughout the first half and ensuring an Econ victory. ‘Red’ Dan Bunter was believed to be furious at the incident instigated by his two arch-rivals, the Tories and B.A. Econ in a result that many believed cost History the title.
This added even greater importance to the return fixture as the ingredient of vengeance was added into the mix of rivalry and the title chase. A potent mix that made this a game for the ages. History F.C. had to win to keep any hope of the title race alive and to fend off the teams in third and fourth in the race for promotion. And win they did.
In a fine performance that epitomised ‘The History Way’ History F.C. emerged with 1-3 win. Fittingly one of the key architects behind the beautiful football History F.C. have played this season opened the scoring, Dan Bunter with a trademark 40 yard Free-Kick. His 20th goal in History colours. This was followed by another familiar sight as Will Kelly slotted away a penalty before half time. The result was then confirmed in the second half when Nick Jeyarajah bundled home a set-piece. A consolation goal and a flying elbow from Econ mattered little as History emerged triumphant in an outstanding example of the beautiful game.
A game that the Econ players won’t forget in a hurry. As they spend their summers in cushy placement jobs at various evil banks and corporations across the country, oiling the wheels of Capitalism they’ll remember the day that ‘Red’ Dan and History taught them a footballing lesson.
History 3-0 Medics Wednesday
Hungary in 1954, Holland in 1974, Brazil in 1982, football history is filled with great teams who captured the imaginations of the globe with their football but never won anything. This would not be the case for History F.C. who secured the Alan Mainwaring Shield on April 30th 2016. A date that will live long in the memory for all those involved and the crowning achievement for a wonderful football team.
As History F.C. emerged onto the hallowed turf of Estadio Armitage destiny was within arms-reach. A cup run that had included a stupendous 9-0 win and a nail-biting semi-final win on penalties had reached its climax. History’s opponents were Medics Wednesday, a team they stuck twelve past in the regular season but there could be no complacence. This was the Alan Mainwaring Shield after all; a trophy known throughout the world for its fairy tale upsets.
In a tense opening twenty minutes the tackles flew in from both sides and it became clear that the Medics weren’t just here for a day out. A huge crowd watched on as History took the lead with a stunning team goal, Smirnoff’s Tom Glover© received the ball in midfield and spotted the intelligent run of forward Henry Scanlan. What followed was a through ball of such pure beauty that any spectator who gazed at it directly was blinded instantly by its sheer brilliance. Scanlan raced onto the ball and did what he does best, finishing with aplomb after he had rounded the hapless Medics ‘keeper. Two setbacks followed as mercurial playmaker Tom Russell and flying fresher Ollie Brown had to be withdrawn through injury; clearly their bodies struggled with playing on a pitch that wasn’t covered in bobbles like those at Stadio D’elle Wyhenshawe.
It affected the game little as the strength of the squad put together by History’s impressive scouting department came to the fore. As the second half began the Medics emerged extremely pumped up, rumours of dieting pills abuse has been unconfirmed but it mattered little. Scott Doherty embarked on one of his mazy runs down the left and was chopped down right on the edge of the area. The rotund referee pointed to the spot and Will Kelly nervelessly slotted the penalty away. More was to follow as ‘The History Way’ grew into the ascendancy and a fine team move resulted in a goalmouth scramble before the ball was emphatically finished by Russell’s toe punt. History had done it! They had won the Shield! Picking up the mantle from Jeremy Hunt they had well and truly screwed the junior Doctors.
They were dancing on the streets of the Sam. Alex as History F.C. ensured their place in the pantheon of the great footballing sides. The celebrations would go long into the night with the Prof. leading the way with bottles of champagne aplenty. History chants were heard throughout the land as the finest side in ISSL Division Two secured their crowning glory to go with their promotion.
The Players
Josh Scott: Behind every great team is a great goalkeeper and this man certainly was that. Signed from the MLS following a year in California he soon became an important member of the team. Although rarely called upon at vital moments he came up with the goods. None more vital than his superb save in the Shield final that ensured a clean-sheet and victory for the men in blue. The most dramatic member of the squad, he well and truly proved the belief that goalkeepers are different and became an integral cog in the history machine. Next season: Is believed to be in negotiations to extend his contract in Manchester that could see him stay at History for another year.
Will Kelly: Into his fourth season at History F.C. following a short spell in Australia the defensive hardman once again proved his worth and commitment to History F.C. A personal favourite for this reporter because of the amount of column inches he fills with his aggressive antics. Antics which included a fight with his own ‘keeper a la Kieron Dyer and Lee Bowyer. Despite his disciplinary record Kelly was a rock on the right side of the History defence this term. Also showed himself to be the most adept defensive penalty-taker in Manchester since Denis Irwin, netting six time throughout the season. Next season: Another player considering a contract offer from History to stay on in Manchester for another season, which would make him History’s longest serving player.
Patrick Harvey: ‘Big Pat’ as the Londoner became known became a defensive stalwart for History F.C. this season. Returning from a serious injury inflicted by the Hindus last season the ‘ginger Beckenbauer’ slotted into the centre of the back three with consummate ease. Dominant in the air despite never calling his name his calm and accurate distribution was central to playing ‘The History Way’. He delivered passes from the back with the same impressive care and speed as he delivers food. Next season: His impressive performances have garnered interest from Italy, the home of defending. He is expected to confirm a move there in the coming weeks as he looks to take ‘The History Way’ into mainland Europe.
Nick Jeyarajah: One of the new signings at the beginning of the season, the man from London soon became an essential part of the History defence. Strong in the air and calm on the ball, his distribution from left centre back was very important in playing the possession based football that his manager desired. Following his defensive exploits during the season it’s not only the ladies who know him for his big tackle now. A series of hard-hitting tackles fill his YouTube highlights reel, his brutal but necessary foul on an RPFC player has already got over a million hits now it has been accompanied by awful EDM in the style of all YouTube football videos. Next season: He will return to the History F.C. fold and it’s believed that the manager plans to build his back three around him.
Neil Davies: Entering his third season playing for History F.C. the versatile defender/second choice goalkeeper who coincidentally shares the name of this reporter continued his solid History career. The extremely handsome Welshman played everywhere across the back five and even in goal this term. He is currently under investigation for match-fixing after suspicious betting patterns were found around a game against RPFC in which he threw the ball into his own goal. Davies has refused to comment on the ongoing investigation. Next season: His agent has been ringing around clubs touting his availability. As of yet there have been no return calls.
Ollie Brown: The only fresher in the team was a revelation in his first season in the ISSL Campus League. The ‘Knitwear Cafu’ flew up and down the right wing with the enthusiasm of a man who hasn’t yet spent three years drinking, sleeping and writing essays. Voted Player’s Player of the Year by his peers Brown had an outstanding debut season. Scouted from the same feeder club as former History captain Lewis Murray, the right wing-back has been touted as a possible future captain of History F.C. if he remains at the club for the full three years. Probably the most consistent member of the team throughout the season, he was as strong defensively as he is going forward. A great find from the History scouting department. Nest season: Brown will be central to History F.C. plans next season as he has more experience under his belt to take on the challenge of Division One.
Scott ‘Ronaldo’ Doherty: The left wing-back from London was another revelation, central to the 3-5-2 system employed by his manager. Scoring one solo goal that was reminiscent of Maradona against England in ’86, the non-handball one. There’s a good chance once I’ve sent this to my editor Doherty will have intercepted and pushed it back through my legs before it gets there. The undisputed leader on both the interceptions and nutmeg charts will be central to History hopes in Division One next season. Next season: Has been handed the reigns by Dan Bunter and will become captain/ manager next season after making it clear that he intends to adhere to ‘The History Way’
Nathan Bennett: The midfielder from Coventry was a consistent and versatile presence in History’s midfield. Capable of playing as a number 6, 8 and 10 Bennett proved himself to be a shrewd signing by the History manager. Often the calming influence between his two more dramatic teammates, Scott and Kelly, the midfielder popped up with vital goals throughout the campaign. A strong defensive shield when played in front of the back three, the midfielder is comfortably the greatest thing to come out of Coventry that this reporter can think of. Although I will not confirm if that says more about Coventry or more about Bennett. Next season: Believed to be returning to the midlands as Tony Mowbray looks to build a team around the home-grown midfielder.
Tom Glover: Into his second season at History Glover was a central cog in ‘The History Way’ a leader of the gegenpress and strong in possession the midfielder’s qualities were illustrated in one moment in the Shield final. Not the unbelievable through ball assist but his huge effort in the final minutes to beat a Medics player to the ball in a thirty yard sprint before kicking the ball ten yards down the line. Magnificent. Doubts were cast about his commitment early on in the campaign as he signed an endorsement deal with Smirnoff Ice Guarana© which suggested the money had gone to his head as he insisted on being known as Smirnoff’s Tom Glover© in all match reports. These doubts were soon dispelled as the former playwright excelled on the pitch showing great commitment to the History cause despite being struck down by essay-crisisitis earlier in the campaign, proving that if you cut him he would bleed blue and not as previously rumoured Smirnoff Ice Guarana©. Next season: In talks to become a Smirnoff Ambassador as he ends his stay at History F.C.
Tom Russell: The self-proclaimed best looking, strongest, quickest and best in the air of the players in the History F.C. squad had a stellar season. Moved into the number ten position Russell excelled a key part of the gegenpress, Bournemouth’s answer to Alexis Sanchez had a fine season. His dribbling ability caused teams in the ISSL huge problems, as did his slide tackle finishing. A technique previously unheard of on the Wythenshawe pitches. His luscious locks could often be seen flying through the air as he beat another defender with is trickery and aerial prowess. Next season: Believed to be retiring from football so he can focus on campaigning for the Brexit campaign. It’s believed his influence may be the tipping point in stopping the brainwashing of the In campaigners. Once that is done rumours are that he is going to try his hand at mountain-climbing.
Henry Scanlan: The second of the long-haired men from Bournemouth to join History F.C. the goal-getter was an inspired piece of business from Bunter. Bagging an impressive haul of 19 goals Scanlan proved himself to be the deadliest of marksmen. Regarded by some as the second best near-post finisher of all-time fittingly got the opening goal in the Shield final. His many goals included an impressive range of finishes from the definitely not deflected 30-yard volley to the tap-in. He also became something of a fashion icon during the season with his innovative headband of black-tape to keep his flowing locks out of his eyes, it has yet to catch on but this reporter is sure it will. Next season: Staying in Manchester the Manchester Evening News has been reporting he is at the centre of a two-way struggle between United and History F.C.
Joel Standerwick: History’s answer to Adrian Mutu claimed top goal scorer for the second year running. Bagging a total of 20 goals throughout the season the talented Newport lad was superb once again. A Masters finisher if you will. His and Scanlan’s huge work rate were the key components in the gegenpress and caused nightmares for the defences of Division Two. Without his goal scoring exploits over the past two seasons it is unlikely that History would find themselves starting the 2015/16 season in Division One. Standerwick was so good that midfielder Tom Glover actually fell in love with him. Although unfortunately for Glover the love was not reciprocated because Standerwick’s true love is goals, lots of them. Next season: Little is known of his plans for next season as a host of clubs queue for the signature of possibly the only man who plays better after a ‘really cokey night’.
Lewis Ryder: ‘The White Sun Ji-Hai’ returned from a yearlong spell in China to his true love, History F.C. The first big European player to move to China denied that the move was only for the money and said that he had been sold on the project that was being put together in these really exciting times for Chinese football. The former History captain picked up where he left off in the games he played with one memorable performance at left wing-back where his mazy dribbling skills were reminiscent of Georgios Samaras at his Man City peak. Next season: Is rumoured to be starting a PHD on what is the first step on the ladder to replacing the Prof. as History F.C.’s number one fan.
Joe Blewett: Played a limited number of games at the start of the season netting some important goals for History. Unfortunately an increased workload ended his involvement this season. Although admittedly if you watched Aston Villa regularly you probably would have fallen out of love with football too.
Llyr Thomas: Swansea’s favourite son and solid right-back last season appeared only once this season due to injury and doing a Masters. However, what a game it was as History won 9-0. The only time History won by such a margin all season, coincidence? I think not.
The Manager/Captain
Dan Bunter: Manager, Captain, Leader, Legend. The Sri Lankan Pirlo did a stellar job as History manager/captain. Leading the team to promotion and the Shield. The tactical masterstroke of moving to 3-5-2 is up there with the invention of Total Football. ‘The History Way’ was built on his philosophies of possession football, playing out the back and gegenpressing. A philosophy that made History a wonderful team to watch. On the pitch Bunter moved ever deeper as he entered his third season at History following his recovery from a horror injury. He became more something of a quarterback spreading the play left and right. A set-piece specialist his goal contributions from midfield were impressive as he reached 20 career goals for History this season. Famed for his big tackles and wonder strikes Bunter brought both this season. Next season: Has agreed a lucrative deal in Africa which will see him move into the role of Director of Football as he spreads the gospel of ‘The History Way’ worldwide.
A magnificent season of magnificent football that culminated in a promotion and silverware for History F.C. This season will live long in the memory for everyone involved in what is undoubtedly the greatest sporting story of the year and possibly ever. Despite battling against the lack of investment from the History Department which has drawn comparisons with Massimo Cellino from the media. In light of this it is a truly remarkable achievement becoming the best team in Division Two and winning the Shield. This reporter is no longer long-suffering, we’re History F.C. and we’re doing alright.
It’s been a pleasure,
Reporter Neil Davies.
