BA Econ 1-3 History FC
Ali vs. Frazier, Federer vs. Nadal, Yankees vs. Red Sox, Lakers vs. Celtics, Real Madrid vs. Barcelona, the Jedi vs. the Sith, Harry Potter vs. Voldermort, the Fellowship vs. Sauron, Good vs. Evil. The list of great rivalries goes on and on and now it has another addition BA Economics vs. History FC. First vs. second in Division 2, the unstoppable force meets the immovable object and vengeance was on the cards for the History boys. Econ snatched a 0-1 victory against History in the first game of the season a travesty that has stayed fresh in the memory of the fans and players of the men in blue. Since then the finance boys have boasted a hundred percent league record and History have remained unbeaten in all competitions. A true clash of the titans on the windy plains of Wythenshawe awaited us.
As kick-off approached the seriousness of the fixture was clear to see as both sides engaged in what looked like vaguely professional warmups. A scene unheard of in the amateur world of Division 2 Campus League and once the ups were warmed the game began. History’s confidence was boosted early on by the appearance of the Prof. on the sideline, their greatest supporter and top boy of the History firm was there to cheer them on. The opening exchanges were tighter than George Osborne’s austerity measures as both sides wrestled for control with the only notable action coming when Tom Glover injured Econ’s best player after 5 minutes in true History style. However, it didn’t take long for the impressive History to claim the lead and take the game by the scruff of its neck. Captain Dan Bunter hit an astounding Free-kick from 40 yards which found its way into the net over the scrabbling Econ ‘Keeper. A great finish that was only matched by the fine elbow-in-the-hip assist from Ollie Brown. This was a landmark goal for the History stalwart, his 20th for the men in blue as he politely reminded this reporter before this report was sent to print.
History soon built on their impressive performance thus far with a second goal just before the break. The lusciously locked Tom Russell shimmied his way between two Econ defenders before being crudely taken down. Up stepped History veteran and penalty specialist Will Kelly. 2-0. Kelly gave the ‘keeper the eyes and stroked the ball home, giving History a well-deserved half-time lead of two goals to nil. The second half picked up where the first had left off with History looking extremely solid defensively whilst still carrying a threat on the break. This threat was exemplified when a rapid counter attack early in the second half resulted in a History corner. A trademark Bunter delivery was whipped into the area and pinball ensued, Nick Jeyarajah pounced and rifled home from two yards. A first History goal for the impressive Jeyarajah, 3-0 and the men in blue were cruising. That was until the referee gave an extremely dubious penalty with 20 minutes to go against History centre back Will Kelly. Osborne’s boys had a chance to grab a lifeline in this titanic clash but like a drowning Leonardo Di Caprio they soon realised the lifeboats had all gone as their striker blazed over from 12 yards and they sunk without a trace.
Well not quite without a trace as the game became fractured and more aggressive with Tom Glover confronting one of the Econ players for wearing a snood, fair enough really. Then the man I dedicate more column inches to than anyone else once again took centre stage, Will Kelly, a football reporter’s wet dream. Econ’s striker and chief b*llend decided to engage himself in some verbal sparring with our man Will, what was said was unclear but it soon became clear that Kelly had the better of him in the battle of the sharpened tongues. So the Econ man resorted to violence and swung an elbow as the two waited for a set piece to be taken. What a banker. Kelly responded with a trademark shove sending the striker flying and resulting in a yellow card for the History man as he kept up his reputation as the fiercest man in Division 2. Despite all this the morally bankrupt Econ did eventually get their consolation goal but the less said about that the better as the clean sheet went the way of Econ’s hundred percent record, down the shitter.
History FC were victorious once more! A very important three points which keeping them hot on the heels of their economically minded rivals in the race for the title as they extended their marvellous unbeaten run to 12 games. We’re History FC and we’re doing alright.
Your long suffering reporter,
Neil Davies
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